Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize