Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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