watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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