the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
