i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you never un-have a 4some
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
