I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's just like the Real World with babies
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
