Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
