Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
