Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ugly people sure do ruin things
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
