I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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