you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..