Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
