Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
