just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
