So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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