Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
