Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
