dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
