he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
