I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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