My nipple is on Facebook.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
