Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
