Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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