Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
