I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
