her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
