put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
