o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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