I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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