We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
