I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
