Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
