Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
