If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I sprained my soul last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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