the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
tell me about the eggs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
