someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
