I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
