I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
