I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
