Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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