Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
These tits shall not be calmed
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
