Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They took my balls.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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