omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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