Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
