i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
