Duck Duck Cougar?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
