Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Text me some of your sweat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
