I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
