ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize