He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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