he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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