it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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