I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
