I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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