The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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