yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
