He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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