so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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