so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize