Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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