So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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