Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
