Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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