Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
