I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
