yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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