I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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